From my poetry notebook…This Ain’t Shakespeare.
She’s beautiful, popular and proud.
Her friends are kids, from just the right crowd.
Look how she laughs, talks and smiles.
Her admirers swarm, as they walk the school tiles.
She looks in the mirror and winks at the image.
Knowing her beauty will win, in any boyfriend scrimmage.
Her clothing is perfect, ensuring that name brand labels appear.
Then tossing them carelessly, when there’s a rip or a tear.
I dare to walk up to her and say, “hello.”
My knees are shaky, trembling out of control.
She looks at me with scorn and contempt.
I feel as though I’ve fallen, and there’s no safety net.
Eyebrow arched, her words like a sword.
I’m not the kind of friend that she’s looking for.
Her laughter rings true, behind my back.
I hide in my locker to stop the tears in their tracks.
But at the end of the day, once her crowd is all gone.
She sits silent and lonely on the bus ride towards home.
Her slender shoulders sag, her head hangs down.
The bus stops at her house, her face wears a frown.
Framed in the doorway is a well-dressed man.
An angry expression on his face, a drink in his hand.
She pauses, walking slowly to the house.
Visibly shrinking into her expensive new blouse.
His loud, angry voice carries to the bus.
She cringes and cowers, afraid of his touch.
I flinch when I see his hand connect with her face.
A flaw upon her beauty that even make-up can’t erase.
I realize I was wrong about the person I thought she was.
How she hides behind an image because of circumstance and cause.
How she likely needs a friend who’ll hold her hand as she cries.
A friend who’ll look past her persona and pride.
A friend who’ll see the terrified child within.
Screaming to move away from those hidden sins.
I may not be the friend that she’s looking for.
But I can be the friend that she needs, so much more.
Excerpt from my book: Mom’s Eye View
The price of love does have a dollar amount.
The holiday season is upon us and so are the vultures. As their unsuspecting victims, they always seem to swoop down when we’re at our most vulnerable. They come at us at the time of year when we worry about how we’re going to find the money to pay for fuel, fill the cupboards with food, make the car payment, as well as buy Christmas presents.
This is when the vultures tempt us with the allure of an easily acquired, high interest rate credit card, which seems like the answer to our prayers.
Resist! Resist I say! But the pull is strong and the process so simple. Approval is almost guaranteed as long as you have a job and have been paying your bills on time. When the card arrives, just days before Christmas, it seems so beautiful; its shiny exterior lulling us into a false sense of financial security.
We tell ourselves, “it’s only a few thousand dollars, I can double up on payments and have it paid off in no time.” Or, “no problem, I’ll just pay it off after Christmas.”
Yeh right, that never really happens…most of us will only make the minimum payment and then bitch about the outrageous interest rates and how we’re getting shafted by the credit card companies. This is our punishment for being sucked into the world’s biggest scam in the first place. It’s the trade-off we make in order to indulge our expectant offspring.
As parents, we hate to disappoint our children. They’re the proof that our time here on earth hasn’t been wasted. They’re the ones who will carry on our family name, hopefully make it mean something in the future. They’re the ones who’ll make our family tree grow bigger and fill it with more apples. So, the last thing we want to do is piss them off.
They tell us they’re worthy of these gifts that they so desperately need. That to shower them with these gifts shows them the depth of our love. And if refused these wondrous commercial trinkets, the words, “you don’t love me!” will bounce off the walls of the house for days.
So, we grit our teeth and choke on the bile that rises in our throats as we agree to the credit card’s horrific and unrealistic terms of service and then reluctantly hand over a good portion of our paychecks to their out-stretched, greedy hands.
Then next Christmas when we again hear the cry, “if you loved me, then you’d get that for me!”
We’ll hand our blessed, darling children the bill from last year’s love-fest and say, “remember last Christmas when you had to have that gaming system and headset and the games to go with it? Here’s the love bill for that.”
Excerpt from my book…Mom’s Eye View.
When I was a little girl my biggest fear was the “Monster Under the Bed.” Others may have had the “Monster in the Closet,” but either way the monster was there and definitely something to be feared.
My monster lived under the bed only at night, during the day it was never there. Not when I played hide and seek with my siblings or even when I had to retrieve a toy from under the bed. It only made its presence known in the dark of the night. My imagination conjured up a monster with scales, red, glowing eyes, a mouthful of sharp, jagged teeth and a body that slithered back and forth beneath my bed, with only the box spring and mattress keeping me safe from it.
My sister and I shared the same bed and would scare one another with our silly monster stories. When we had finally worked ourselves up into a whispered state of panic we would huddle in the center of the bed, “our safe place,” and stay as far away from the edges as we possibly could. We wholeheartedly believed that if we got too close to the edge the monster would be able to reach up and grab us with its long, cutting talons; ripping us to shreds in a matter of seconds.
When we got too scared we’d comfort one another and provide each other with enough strength to get us through the night. Upon hearing actual scurrying noises in the walls or in the ceiling, as we did most nights, we never doubted that the noises were the monster duplicating itself over and over in order to surround us and then more easily capture us and turn us into an evening meal.
We never stopped to consider that we lived in old apartment buildings that were notorious for having rat and mice infestations. To us, it was the monster and nothing else.
We’d eventually fall asleep, sticking close to one another, providing one another with comfort and support when our fears were outweighing our common sense.
My sister and I have always been this way though, we stick together and along with my other two sisters, we all can be a formidable force. As we’ve all gotten older and more independent though, we realize we don’t always have to fight each other’s monsters. But it sure is nice knowing that you’ve got someone to cover your back when the monsters decide to sneak up on you.